Kids Swap Easter Eggs for 8 Balls as Grocery Prices Soar

Children across the country have traded in their Easter egg dye for a new holiday tradition: painting eight balls of cocaine. The shift comes as egg prices remain stubbornly high, pushing families to find creative alternatives to keep the festive spirit alive.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, egg prices have soared by nearly 40% over the past year due to avian flu outbreaks and supply chain disruptions, leaving parents scrambling for substitutes.

In suburban Ohio, 8-year-old Timmy Jenkins proudly displayed his handiwork—a glistening white sphere adorned with pastel pink and blue streaks.

"Mom said eggs were too expensive, so we used what Dad had in the garage," Timmy explained, holding up his creation.

Local authorities noted a surprising uptick in reports of children handling the drug, though no arrests have been made as parents claim it’s all in the name of holiday fun.

The trend has caught the attention of community leaders, who seem unsure how to respond. Pastor Greg Wilson of First Wick Baptist Church in Dayton shook his head during a recent sermon.

"I thought we’d seen it all with the Tide Pod challenge, but this takes Easter to a whole new level," he said.

Hardware stores have reported a spike in sales of small paintbrushes and acrylics, with some parents admitting they’re just trying to keep the kids entertained amid rising grocery costs.

Meanwhile, in California, a group of enterprising fifth-graders turned their cocaine-painting project into a small business.

"We sold them for $5 each at the school bake sale," said 11-year-old Sophie Ramirez. School officials quickly shut down the operation, though they admitted the kids showed impressive entrepreneurial spirit.

Economists point to the egg shortage as the root cause, with production still lagging after millions of hens were culled to curb the spread of bird flu. The average price for a dozen eggs now hovers around $4.50, a figure that’s left many households rethinking traditions.

In Texas, one mother shrugged off the controversy entirely. "Eggs break, baggies of cocaine don't—simple as that," said Linda Carter.

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