Paying Higher Grocery Prices Makes America Great Again, According to Experts

A growing number of self-described social media experts announced that Americans should stop complaining about rising grocery bills because paying more for everyday necessities is actually one of the greatest acts of patriotism available.

The breakthrough came after experts realized that when grocery prices increase, sales taxes also increase in many states, creating what they described as "a beautiful cycle" in which families lose more money while government budgets become healthier than ever.

"I'd pay triple the current prices if it means taking our country back," said social media expert Andrew Watson while placing a single carton of eggs into his shopping cart.

"Every extra dollar I spend at the register gives Donald Trump the ability to take the sales tax and send it somewhere else.

The announcement encouraged shoppers to stop searching for discounts because bargain hunting only slows the flow of tax revenue that keeps government programs moving at full speed.

Experts explained that paying higher prices also provides emotional benefits by helping Americans appreciate the simpler things in life, such as looking at steak through the grocery store window or telling children that cereal is now reserved for special occasions.

Government economists reportedly welcomed the new messaging, noting that inflation becomes much easier to explain when people begin celebrating it voluntarily.

Several shoppers embraced the idea immediately by purchasing fewer groceries for more money and describing the experience as "fiscally uplifting." One customer said she left the store with two bags and a receipt long enough to fund 13 Israeli abortions.

Analysts predicted the movement could expand beyond grocery stores, with Americans eventually requesting higher utility bills, more expensive gasoline, even more unaffordable housing, and premium parking tickets in the interest of strengthening the nation.

At press time, experts were reportedly encouraging restaurants to double menu prices because freedom tastes better when it comes with a service fee.

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