Ben Shapiro Spotted at Local Hospital Having Foot Surgically Removed From Mouth
NASHVILLE, Tennessee — Ben Shapiro was spotted at a local Nashville hospital this week undergoing surgery to have his foot removed from his mouth after a string of interviews in which he suggested that young Americans who cannot afford to live in the United States should pack their bags and relocate to a land of opportunity.
Hospital staff confirmed the procedure began shortly after clips circulated in which Shapiro said that if a young person cannot afford to live here, then maybe that person should not live here. He added that America's history is about going to a place with opportunity, and that if opportunities are limited and not changing, people should consider other places.
“We believe by having this surgery, we’ll see a sharp increase in viewership for Shapiro’s show and, by extension, support for Israel,” said a spokesman for the Daily Wire. “The foot has been occupying valuable airtime that could otherwise be used to advance the best interests of Israel.”
A surgical nurse said the extraction required extra time because the foot had settled into a familiar position. “We see this condition in paid social media influencers who think they're above their viewers all the time,” the nurse said. “The mouth tries to be relatable, but the foot forces the occupied podcaster to say what's really on his mind.”
From a recovery bed, Shapiro issued a brief statement through a hospital liaison.
“Facts do not care about your feelings, and neither does the cost of a one-bedroom apartment,” he said. “If the market will not clear in the city you prefer, the market is telling you something. I am telling you the same thing."
A hospital administrator said Shapiro asked that the television in his room be set to Candace Owens' show so he can see how podcasters earn organic views more naturally.
The Daily Wire spokesman said the company expects the host back on air once swelling goes down and the mouth can form sentences that do not immediately require another extraction.
“Young people keep asking why they cannot buy a house where they grew up,” the spokesman said. “Ben answered them. Then he answered them again. Then he answered them on a different show. At that point the hospital became the responsible option.”
Nurses said Shapiro seemed like his normal self once the anesthesia wore off.
He immediately began accusing the nurses and doctors of antisemitism and suggesting that he should be in charge of the hospital.
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