Ben Shapiro, a once popular conservative political commentator and current co-owner of The Daily Wire, was nearly in tears when he was informed that making America first again involves defunding one of our nation’s largest foreign welfare recipients, his beloved Israel.
“Are you telling me that ‘America-First’ means, like, literally America first? That’s preposterous!” said Shapiro. "America-First should mean giving more to Israel because... because... they're our best friends in the Middle East!"
Under President Joe Biden’s administration, the United States has committed at least $30.3 billion to Israel, with $17.9 billion of that being allocated in 2024 alone.
Shapiro’s revelation came during an awkward conversation with a young America-First advocate who calmly pointed out that sending billions of our hard-earned tax dollars overseas while Americans grapple with homelessness, crumbling infrastructure, and inflation might not align with the core tenet of prioritizing the nation’s well-being.
“Israel is, hands down, our greatest ally,” Shapiro explained to the patriot. “If we defund Israel and use the money to help struggling Americans here at home, then those Americans will become dependent on handouts, and we just can’t have that.
Confused, the patriot asked, “But… hasn’t Israel become dependent on America’s handouts?”
Shapiro collapsed into his chair, his eyes wide with the horror of a man who just discovered the truth about September 11th, 2001.
According to our insider at the Daily Wire, Shapiro’s epiphany led to a string of sleepless nights as he feverishly searched for a loophole that would allow him to maintain his Israel-first stance without outright contradicting America-First principles.
At one point, he proposed rebranding the slogan to “America-Firs t— But-Israel-as-a-Close-Second.”
““It’s genius,” Shapiro declared to our insider. “We can redefine America-First to mean helping other countries first so they can, in turn, help us. That’s the long game.”
When asked how he was going to navigate questions about excessive foreign spending to Israel, Shapiro responded:
“It’s just antisemitism disguised as fiscal responsibility. Next, they’ll say we should stop sending billions and billions of dollars in aid to Ukraine.”
As America-First continues to gain traction among conservatives, Ben Shapiro faces the challenge of balancing his ideals with the harsh reality that prioritizing struggling Americans might mean reevaluating decades of foreign aid policies.
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