Osama Bin Laden Returns from Afterlife for White House Meeting
- Chadwick Dolgos
- Nov 11
- 2 min read
President Donald Trump welcomed Osama bin Laden to the Oval Office this morning for a closed-door discussion on national security.
The former al-Qaeda leader, killed by Navy SEALs in Pakistan over a decade ago, arrived wearing traditional robes and declined the offered Diet Coke.
Trump shook hands with bin Laden and praised his commitment to strong borders. White House staff confirmed the meeting focused on defeating ISIS, which bin Laden founded before his death.
"This is a big league negotiation," Trump said. "Osama gets terrorism better than anyone, and we're going to make deals nobody thought possible."
Bin Laden nodded and spoke through an interpreter about shared goals in the Middle East. He complained about the quality of virgins in paradise and requested better accommodations during his visit.
Aides noted that inflation remains high and grocery prices continue to strain family budgets. They suggested the president might want to address those issues instead of hosting deceased terrorists.
"Nobody negotiates like me," Trump replied. "We're talking peace through strength with the original tough guy."
The meeting lasted forty minutes and ended with both men exchanging contact information. Secret Service agents searched bin Laden's robes for explosives but found only prayer beads and a frequent flyer card.
Press secretary Karoline Leavitt described the summit as historic diplomacy. She explained that reaching across the aisle sometimes means reaching across the grave.
Bin Laden left through the South Lawn and promised to consider Trump's proposal for joint ventures. He also mentioned an interest in real estate development in Afghanistan.
During the historic meeting, White House chefs served halal meals. The menu included lamb kebabs and American apple pie for dessert.
Trump later posted on social media that the talks went tremendously well. He claimed bin Laden agreed to help drain the swamp from beyond the veil.
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