Heaven Rejects Man Who Died on Tax Day Without Filing Return

James Green, a 58-year-old accountant from Pennsylvania, arrived at the pearly gates on Wednesday after passing away on tax day without having submitted his federal income tax return.

St. Peter, the gatekeeper of heaven, reviewed Green's earthly records and informed him that his failure to file constituted a serious violation of divine accounting standards.

"You had all year, James," St. Peter said while flipping through a thick ledger. "The rules are clear. Everyone must render unto Caesar what is Caesar's before they render unto God what is God's."

Green reportedly protested that his sudden death had prevented him from completing the paperwork. He explained that he had intended to file an extension but ran out of time when his heart gave out during a late-night review of deductions.

Witnesses at the scene described Green clutching a folder of receipts as he pleaded his case. St. Peter remained unmoved, citing a longstanding heavenly policy requiring all souls to settle their temporal obligations before admission.

"Taxes are part of the earthly contract," St. Peter continued. "We cannot overlook such matters up here. The paperwork must be in order."

According to sources familiar with the proceedings, Green was then escorted away by angelic security personnel toward an alternate destination described as significantly warmer and less accommodating.

Green's family confirmed he had been a diligent taxpayer throughout his life until this final year. They were shocked that such a technicality would affect his eternal resting place.

Heavenly officials declined to comment on the specifics of Green's case but reaffirmed that compliance with earthly tax laws remains a prerequisite for entry into paradise.

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