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Elf Named in Epstein Files Immediately Fired from North Pole

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An elf who spent centuries building toys at Santa Claus's workshop has been abruptly dismissed after his name appeared in the latest batch of declassified documents related to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.


The elf, known for his expertise in assembling wooden trains and dolls, was identified in files released by the Department of Justice as having visited Epstein's private island on 29 separate occasions.


Officials at the North Pole confirmed the termination took effect immediately, with the elf escorted out by reindeer security after a violent altercation with Mr. Santa Claus.


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"We hold everyone here to the highest standards of cheer and integrity," Santa said. "Any association with individuals involved in sex crimes against children has no place in our operation."


Additional details from the files indicate the elf traveled on Epstein's private jet several times and attended gatherings at the financier's properties.


"This elf was a reliable worker for hundreds of years, but once these documents came to light, we had no choice," said the workshop manager, who oversees daily toy production.


The documents, part of ongoing releases stemming from congressional action forcing the release, have named numerous associates but include no formal charges against the elf.


A North Pole spokeself emphasized that the dismissal was precautionary. "We review all information thoroughly to protect the children we serve."


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Santa added that the workshop would fill the position quickly to avoid delays in Christmas preparations for next year. "The rest of the team remains focused on delivering joy worldwide," he said.


The incident marks the first time Epstein-related revelations have reached the remote Arctic facility, prompting reviews of all employee travel records.


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