The days of having to impress Elon Musk to the point he slips into your DMs are over. Elon Musk, the multi-billionaire tech mogul and father of 14, has decided to streamline his mission to populate the planet with brilliant minds.
Speaking exclusively to The Washington Wick, Musk revealed he’s done with the courtship dance and is now offering everyday Americans a chance to bear his progeny — no flirting required. The sign-up link for what he calls his “Rocket Baby” program is pinned in his X bio, promising a lifetime of perks for those bold enough to join.
Musk’s latest child was confirmed just yesterday when Neuralink executive Shivon Zilis announced the birth of their son, Seldon Lycurgus. This comes just two weeks after a claim by conservative influencer Ashley St. Clair, who said she welcomed Musk’s 13th child— a boy referred to as “R.S.C.” — five months ago in September 2024.
St. Clair has since filed a paternity suit against Musk, which he has yet to publicly address, though a New York judge has ordered him to respond by May 29. Amid this whirlwind of baby news, Musk is doubling down on his vision for a smarter America.
“I’m tired of the games,” Musk told The Washington Wick. “The future needs intelligent citizens, and I’m making it easy — sign up, get a Rocket Baby, and let’s build something great.”
Participants get a $40,000-per-month apartment in New York City, lifetime financial security, and a used Tesla Cybertruck to drive your Rocket Baby to chess club.
There’s a catch: while Musk promises to be present for most of the “fun stuff” like birthdays and first rocket launches, the day-to-day grind of parenting — diapers, tantrums, and 3 a.m. feedings — falls squarely on the mother.
St. Clair’s court filing claims Musk was initially enthusiastic about their child, texting her, “I look forward to seeing you and him this weekend,” after she sent a photo of the newborn.
Now, she alleges he’s since gone radio silent, prompting her legal push for sole custody and a paternity test. Meanwhile, Zilis, who now shares four kids with Musk, described Seldon Lycurgus as “built like a juggernaut, with a solid heart of gold” in her X post, to which Musk replied with a heart emoji.
“This is about efficiency,” Musk explained to The Washington Wick. “Why waste time dating when I can just offer a lifetime package and get straight to the good part — raising the next generation of innovators?”
The Rocket Baby program, he insists, is his way of cutting through the noise and ensuring his genes — and his vision — spread far and wide. For those who sign up, it’s a golden ticket to luxury, provided they don’t mind a parenting gig that’s less co-op and more solo mission.
“This is the future,” Musk declared. “Sign up now, and let’s make America brilliant, one Rocket Baby at a time.”
The X bio link is live, and Musk says slots are limited — though given his track record, that might just mean until next week. For the average American dreaming of a life of luxury, it’s a proposition that’s hard to ignore.
Just don’t expect him to change the diapers.
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