Cory Booker Breaks Senate Record with 25-Hour April Fools' Joke Nobody Understood

Americans witnessed a historical performance in the art of political theater this week when Senator Cory Booker spoke for 25 hours and 5 minutes straight on the Senate floor, a feat his office proudly clocked down to the second.

The marathon address was initially billed as a bold stand against the Trump administration’s latest moves. By the end, however, aides revealed it was all an elaborate April Fools’ prank.

Booker began his speech with a tired denunciation of tax cuts, border security, and President Trump's administration. After hour 15, he pivoted to reading excerpts from the Communist Manifesto, then spent a solid 45 minutes reminding members of the Senate why Israel is our greatest ally.

“I just wanted to see how long they’d let me go before someone figured it out,” Booker said later.

Senate Republicans, forced to stay through the night, were less amused.

“It was performance art, not a filibuster,” insisted Senator Dace McCormick.

The stunt broke the previous record for the longest Senate speech, set by Strom Thurmond in 1957 at 24 hours and 18 minutes, though that was an actual attempt to block legislation. Booker’s effort, by contrast, blocked nothing.

“I thought it was a cry for help at first,” said Senator Rand Paul. "As a doctor, I was concerned for his mental wellbeing."

Political analysts noted that the Trump policies Booker railed against had already been in place for months. Some speculated it was a bid for attention in a party still reeling from recent electoral flops.

"This is probably his way to test the waters for a 2028 presidential run," said CNN's Rachel Maddow, stating the obvious.

Voters back in New Jersey, Booker’s home state, had mixed reactions. A Trenton diner owner shrugged it off, saying, “If he’s got 25 hours to talk, maybe he can spend 25 minutes fixing our border.”

The episode capped a week of Democratic hand-wringing over how to counter a resurgent GOP, with Booker’s stunt unlikely to shift the narrative.

As the Senate reconvened for actual business on April 2, lawmakers were left to ponder the cost of keeping the lights on for a quarter-century punchline.

“It was the longest April Fools’ joke in Senate history,” said Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, barely alive. “And I’ve been here long enough to know a fool when I see one.”

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