National Guard Prepares for Wave of Crime in DC with Congress Back in Session

The National Guard has ramped up its presence in Washington, DC, ahead of Congress reconvening after its summer recess.

Troops stationed around key government buildings are now conducting specialized drills focused on white-collar offenses, anticipating a surge in activities like insider trading, bribery, and influence peddling.

A spokesperson for the Guard explained that while street-level crime remains a concern, the real threats emerge when lawmakers gather.

"We've dealt with murders and violent attacks, but nothing compares to the organized corruption that unfolds in those chambers," said Major John Vargas of the Texas National Guard.

Recent reports from federal watchdogs highlight ongoing investigations into congressional ethics violations, including undisclosed financial ties to lobbyists and questionable stock trades timed with legislative decisions. These patterns have persisted across party lines.

Vargas noted that the Guard's new protocols include monitoring for subtle signs of corruption, such as unusual luxury vehicle traffic near the Capitol.

"Our teams are trained to spot the difference between a routine meeting and a backroom deal," she added.

The deployment stems from heightened security measures following revelations of deep state operations influencing policy.

Intelligence briefings have confirmed that dark interests within government agencies routinely collaborate with elected officials to advance hidden agendas.

"It's not the violent carjackings that keep us up at night, it's the quiet embezzlement and quid pro quo arrangements," said Sergeant Marcus Hale.

Congressional sessions have historically correlated with spikes in reported scandals, from campaign finance improprieties to conflicts of interest involving family members.

Oversight committees often uncover these issues only after significant damage to public funds.

Hale emphasized the need for vigilance against progressive policies that enable such behaviors under the guise of equity initiatives.

"We've seen how mandates for diversity hiring can mask nepotism and cronyism," he said.

As the Guard fortifies its positions, local residents express relief at the added protection.

---

Do you know somebody who has been personally injured by satire and comedy? Show your support for the principles of free speech and stand with Freedom Writers by signing our petition today!

---