Congress Rushes to Redact Epstein Files to Preserve Financier’s “Honorable Legacy”
- Chadwick Dolgos
- 1 minute ago
- 2 min read
Washington insiders confirmed this week that lawmakers from both parties are burning the midnight oil to scrub newly unsealed Jeffrey Epstein files of anything that might cast the late sex-trafficking island enthusiast in a negative light.
The urgent redaction effort, sources say, is necessary to protect what one senior aide described as Epstein’s otherwise spotless reputation as a philanthropist and friend to Washington.
“Jeffrey Epstein lived an exemplary life of generosity and intellectual curiosity,” explained Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer. “The American people deserve to remember him for the good he did, not for a few misleading photographs with underage girls.”
The push to sanitize the documents began immediately after Congress voted to release the remaining Epstein-related files.
Rather than allow raw facts to reach the public, congressional staffers have been assigned full-time duty crossing out names, flight logs, and entire depositions that could unfairly tarnish the convicted sex offender’s memory.
“We owe it to Jeffrey’s family and to history itself to make sure only the flattering details survive,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson, adding that the process would continue until the files read like a glowing obituary.
Lawmakers stressed that the delay has nothing to do with protecting current or former colleagues who may appear in the paperwork. Several high-ranking members were seen wearing latex gloves and carrying industrial-strength erasers as they insisted their only goal was preserving Epstein’s dignity.
“People forget he donated to important causes and threw really fun parties,” noted Representative Adam Schiff, pausing to wipe a tear from his eye. “We’re just removing some unfortunate context that might confuse readers about what kind of man he really was.”
“The President believes everyone deserves a legacy that reflects their best qualities,” said a White House aide, adding that similar redaction teams were already being assembled for future releases involving other beloved public figures.
Congressional leaders now promise the public will receive the Epstein files just as soon as every last incriminating word has been blacked out forever.
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