Elon Musk Eyes Mars Trip Funded by Your Grandma’s Social Security

Elon Musk, the billionaire trailblazer behind Tesla and SpaceX, has unveiled his latest scheme, one that has left Washington scrambling and retirees checking their mailboxes.

The tech mogul, recently tasked with slashing federal budgets through his Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, now claims he’s found a way to fund his Martian dreams—by redirecting Social Security funds straight to the Red Planet.

Sources close to Musk say the plan involves launching Starship, SpaceX’s flagship rocket, with a payload of cash once earmarked for America’s elderly.

Musk’s team has been busy auditing the Social Security Administration, uncovering what he calls “jaw-dropping inefficiencies.” Among his findings are millions of accounts tied to people listed as over 120 years old and a database with 20 million supposedly deceased beneficiaries still marked alive.

“This is a goldmine,” Musk reportedly told aides. He insists the money saved from cutting these “zombie accounts” could bankroll his vision of Martian colonies, complete with Optimus robots roaming the rusty terrain.

The idea has sparked outrage among lawmakers who didn’t see this coming, which is most of them. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries called it “a galactic grift,” accusing Musk of trying to leave Earth’s seniors high and dry while he plays space cowboy.

Musk, unfazed, took to X to defend his plan, posting a chart showing Social Security payouts overlaid with a Starship trajectory map.

“Why fund bingo nights when we can fund the future of humanity?” he wrote. DOGE volunteers have since claimed they’re not just targeting fraud but also “reimagining” how benefits are distributed—starting with a one-way ticket off-world.

Retirees aren’t buying it. At a packed town hall in Florida, 78-year-old Marjorie Evans waved her cane at a screen displaying Musk’s grinning face.

“I worked 40 years for that check, and now he wants to send it to Mars?” she fumed.

The Social Security Administration, already reeling from DOGE-led staff cuts and website crashes, issued a statement countering Musk’s fraud claims, asserting their records are “highly accurate” and that dead beneficiaries aren’t cashing checks from beyond the grave.

Meanwhile, Musk’s allies in the administration are doubling down. DOGE volunteer Antonio Gracias praised the move as “a bold step toward fiscal responsibility,” noting that Mars could become “the ultimate retirement destination.”

Critics argue this is less about efficiency and more about Musk’s obsession with colonizing space at any cost. Former Social Security Commissioner Martin O’Malley, speaking to a congressional committee, blasted the scheme as “a cosmic cash grab dressed up as reform.”

O’Malley pointed out that the program has faithfully sent checks since 1935, a streak Musk seems eager to end in favor of planting flags on alien soil.

Musk’s Martian gambit comes as SpaceX gears up for a major mission, with Starship set to carry Optimus robots to explore Mars and gather data for future settlers. The robots, originally built for earthly chores like folding laundry, will now scout a planet that Musk insists is humanity’s next frontier.

“Social Security was a 20th-century idea,” Musk told a crowd. “The 21st century belongs to Mars—and I’m taking the money with me.”

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