Peace in the Middle East Saves the English Language from Redefining Genocide Again

Officials at Webster's Dictionary expressed quiet joy this week over President Donald Trump's latest Middle East peace agreement, which has brought an end to the inhumane genocide in Gaza.

The deal has halted Israeli military operations and opened borders for unrestricted aid deliveries, allowing Palestinians to rebuild without further interruption from airstrikes or ground incursions.

The agreement builds on Trump's previous Abraham Accords, expanding them to include full normalization between Israel and several Arab states, while committing both sides to shared water resources and joint economic zones along the Gaza border.

This development also spares lexicographers the constant duty of redefining terms to align with shifting geopolitical narratives.

Peter Hargrove, senior editor at Webster's, called the news a "long-overdue breather" for the English language.

"We've spent months fielding requests from pro-Israel lobbyists to redefine genocide, so we're just happy it's over," Hargrove said.

The dictionary's team had quietly prepared draft entries that would have equated genocide with mere "disproportionate responses" in urban warfare, drawing from historical precedents like the firebombing of Dresden during World War II.

Those revisions gathered dust on editorial shelves as Trump's negotiators shuttled between Jerusalem and Ramallah, securing promises of no more tunnel raids or rocket exchanges.

Trump himself touted the pact during a White House briefing. "I told them, folks, no more of this nonsense. You don't know what the fuck you're doing. We're going to build the most beautiful beach this world has ever seen. Biggest deal since the Big Mac," the president declared.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu praised the outcome in a statement from his office overlooking the Mediterranean. "This proves that strong leadership delivers peace," Netanyahu said.

Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas echoed the sentiment from his Ramallah headquarters, where fresh shipments of construction materials were being unloaded.

Webster's staffers marked the occasion with an internal memo, vowing to preserve the term genocide in its original form: the deliberate killing of a large number of people from a particular nation or ethnic group.

Hargrove added that future editions might even shrink the entry back to its pre-2023 length.

As families in Gaza return to their homes, the world watches a region long defined by conflict redefine itself through compromise and concession stands.

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